becoming alittle weird.

Last night i was sitting here looking at the computer as i am now, things start to happen the internet disconnects itself, the light i have on turned itself on and off a few times, and then things go back the way they were the connection to the internet is beyond slow and before i knew it the computer was turned off. I start to get a bit freaked out, i pace quickly out of the room, and go and brush my teeth, i hope into bed with my beloved electric blanket.

I turn on my ipod and put my headphones on, still couldn't get to sleep i then turn off my ipod and try and fall back to sleep, i hear this buzzing sound, it was more like a fly in a far distance, but yet still close enough for me to hear something was in the room with me, i start to get abit freaked out, i look around without taking my head off the pillow, i was now offically scraed to death i look at the extended power cord, and the light is flashing on the switch, the red light is like a dying flame, flicking about. I turn on my touch lamp and it turns itself off in the three adjustable settings, what the hell was going on.

I touch it again.. the light goes brighter and brighter and then off again, i turn on my phone on and turn it towards my room for light, i get up and see that the red light is now off with still about of flickering going on. i turn everything off at the wall and then begin to go back to sleep, i hear the floor creak outside, as if i hear voices outside. i turn my ipod back on and tuck my head under the covers, never have i been so scared in my own house.

the right thing?

i cannot!

whether it is doing well in school or becoming anything in this world, i can not succeed well enough for my own personal enjoyment.
the job population in this world, is going down. People losing their jobs and the economy going through the roof. Shy should have been my middle name, getting a job is hard and the main problem in my life at the moment is getting a boyfriend key elements of fear and shyness. oh but you don't need to tell me twice, i already know that!

generally you would think i am the loudness obnoxious person, but inside of me i am nothing more then a scared mouse hiding away inside.. thinking about if i say the wrong thing i have embarrassed myself. I have to be more in this world, i should voice my opinions more.. and say what i really mean to peoples faces, and tell my boss to finally shove it up his arse, and walk out of a job, but as i said if finding a new job was that simple i would have already done that.

sleep/ micheals funeral

completely forgetting i had work at lunch today, i was up all last night getting into documentaries and concerts of Micheal Jackson, i must say it is a very good concert, the one they have been showing on t.v. for a couple of days, anyways i stayed up, it was like 3 when the funeral came on, i stayed u to about four, and then got a message on my phone, that was sent to me at three the day before, saying.. are you still right to do 11:45 - 3, ah completely forgot, how stupid!
haha i stayed up abit longer though, and to my suprise i wasn't that tired when i woke up.

tired now though

walls

ha! many of you don't care I'm thinking.. but for me this is a huge deal.
my panic! wall, i had posters polaroids i made and put up, and little articles all over my wall, panic at the disco broke up this week, and now it looks like I'm going to have to redecorate my whole wall with new things, probably pictures i find on deviant art, but yeah this is going to be a weekend project for me, maybe even longer.. dad bought a new printer the other day and it's $30 a cartridge and it seems that he doesn't want to spend that much money regularly, so hmm.. it may be a bit longer, yeah i could keep the posters and photos up, but it needs to be changed anyways, it's getting a bit boring.. haven't changed it in a while, but yeah!